Someone once told me that you know you have fully matured when you can comfortably act childish. Well, I’ve never stopped acting childish from the word go, so does that mean I was mature as a child? Or does that mean I’ll never be mature because I never made the transition from child to adult in order to become child again?I’m 29 years old and I still feel as though I have the mind of a budding teenager. But for some reason, lately, I've ceased to let the public see that side of me. I must appear a woman who’s really got it together to people who don’t know me very well. Actually, now that I think about it, does anyone really know me inside out?
My problem is, I never let my vulnerability see the light of day anymore. When did it become wrong to show one's flaws or idiosyncrasies? And what made me feel I had to? Is it just me who thinks and feels like this? Or do other people assume a front exuding with responsibility and rationality as well? If it is just me, then when and how does the mature, rational and responsible metamorphoses occur? Is there something I'm supposed to buy? A pill? A psychologist? A cough syrup?
But, you know what? Today I've decided that I'm going to take pride in being childish. It's time to let down my hair! (Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, Flow it, show it, Long as God can grow it, My hair ...)
Don't you think life is too short to worry about how others perceive you? I certainly do. How about you?
Ah, so you keep it inside, which means you are afraid to let it show. I'm 45 and I'm like that to some extent, but as I've become older, I have noticed a tendency to not worry nearly as much what others think of me. Writing is a good example of that. I worried what people would think of me because of what I wrote. (not how I wrote, mind you, but plot lines and scenes.) In the last few years, I'm much more comfortable with it. I'm not sure that means I act like a child, but it's more like I will 'play' and tune out anyone watching, like a child playing with their toys and talking to them. (My nine year old still does this all the time. I LOVE watching her play with her stuffed animals.)
ReplyDeleteSince you are already a writer and sharing your work, you're way ahead of where I was at that time in my life. That's a good thing. :-)
I completely agree with you. The problem is that it's so easy to think and believe something, but it isn't always as easy to actually follow through. :-)
ReplyDeleteI am 52 and married to Peter Pan. :)
ReplyDeleteWe have lost (very close family) 10 people under the age of 50, over a span of 9 years...life is for being sensible when it is required, but lived as a child when it is not.
We met aged 17, and are still those people,)just a different shape). I live my life to the full. If I get the urge to jump into the pool with my friends kids, fully clothed...then so be it!
My new life in Cyprus has allowed me that freedom.
I think my video sums me up...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yYr1MeBICU
LOL
Be happy, be a child :)
I'm turning 25 soon and I still have the mind of a 16 year older, so I totally can relate to your blog. When needed, I am very mature, but I don't ever want to grow up! This was a great blog!
ReplyDeleteMary: I used to keep it insdie a lot more, actually, but since being with my finace, who I can be completely myself around, I've been letting it dribble out in public too. And I'm liking it! I have no problem about people reading my writing. It's easier. It's like writing a big angry email when you don't have the courage to speak face to face :)
ReplyDeleteShannon: You're very right! We'll see how I go. If I find myself holding back, I'll think of you!
Glynis: Great video! Hahaha! Yes, my family on Ithaca are just like you :)
ModernDayDrifer: Thanks for stopping by :) I'm glad you liked my blog!
To tell you the truth... I don't feel any different than when I was in high school... the mirror just shows a different person... I will be YOUNG FOREVER!!!
ReplyDeleteI was lucky. I went through this phase in my early and mid teens when I was an adult- I would lecture my mother on how to behave, specially in public, and was as prim and grown-up as one could be.
ReplyDeleteAm now 38, and am as childlike as I should have been then. Which you say is a sign of maturity!
Fifi: I absolutely agree! :)
ReplyDeleteRayna: Yes-ee indeed -ee I do-ee ;)
Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteI have never been one to show my silliness outside of those I love and trust. They never deserved to see that deep into my personality. But of late it has been my challenge to be true to myself, and to open that window to my soul so that others might be welcomed into my small and intimate circle of friends. My friendships have been deeper, and as a writer they have opened my eyes to more delicious character-types for my novels.
~Nona (nonaking.com)