Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Why do I feel so guilty choosing to be just a little selfish for once in a VERY long time?

So I just booked a flight to Canada over my birthday (Feb 26th, wink wink).

Among such reasons as having work stuff to accomplish over there, I'm also doing it to finally meet a very good friend of mine in the flesh. The lovely Dawn Ius. This is something which I have been dreaming of doing for way over a year now. And finally, I have the chance. And I don't care that it's only for a little over a week, and that I'm still going to have to work while I'm there. I don't care at all. It's enough to know I'll have the evenings and two weekends with her. I really really really CAN NOT WAIT!

So why do I feel so guilty?

Is it wrong to do something that doesn't also benefit those in my immediate life? I deserve something a little special for myself don't I? Don't I? I've worked damn hard over the past few years. What is wrong with giving myself this gift?

I haven't chosen to do something for myself only in I think ... maybe three years? It's time. It really is time. And what better time than over my birthday?! This gift I can give myself, is one of the best gifts ever. So please, oh mighty cosmic universe, stop making me feel guilty and give me the gift of your acceptance ...

Do you ever feel guilty when you indulge yourself? Why do you think this is?

30 comments:

  1. Everyone is entitled to feel a little selfish once in a while so don't feel guilty.
    Enjoy yourself.

    Yvonne.

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  2. I don't know quite what this says about me, but...no. No I don't. I indulge myself quite often and never feel bad about it ;)

    But then, I live alone and don't have any kids so...yeah. Actually I have to say I feel guilty about my upcoming travel and putting my two kitties in a cattery. That's about all I feel guilty for though!

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  3. All this guilt means is you're a very loving person. It's okay to love yourself the way you love others. Give yourself that treat you deserve it.

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  4. Does your husband take "selfish time" like this? It's easier when it's his-turn-her-turn selfinsh time, I've found.
    Where in Canada are you going? Are you performing while you're here?
    I had my IPOd on "Famous" for my morning alarm, and my wife said "What song is that? I really like it." I mainly stopped by to tell you that.

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  5. I can't see this as selfish at all! After all you've accomplished the past year you deserve to celebrate. Plus, won't the trip be tax deductable since Dawn works with you on the literary journal?

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  6. I say you are being thrifty, killing 2 birds with one stone... besides it can't be all work, now can it?! :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  7. There's no reason to feel guilty at all! But yes, I do understand. I always feel guilty whenever I do something just for me. It doesn't help the kids tend to scream and cry whenever I'm walking out the door. It's kind of heartbreaking. :o

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  8. I think on some level we feel we aren't worthy of a gift to ourselves, and, being women that feeling is all the more strong. Heads up sister, we ARE worthy.

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  9. Where in Canada?

    Do I feel guilty? Depends what I indulged in. If it has too many calories, then yes, I feel guilty (IF I allow myself to think about it). :D

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  10. Aww! Have a great time in Canada with Dawn!

    And you deserve the time to do something for yourself. Although I do understand the guilt too. I know when I decide to take the time to watch TV or just decide to read instead of write/edit that I feel a bit guilty, like I should be doing the other. But we all need our down time and our vacations. :)

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  11. Dearest Jessica,
    What you are doing isn't selfish at all. Why were we taught that doing things for ourselves is selfish. Are you hurting someone else by doing this? If you are, they don't understand how important this is to you. Sounds to me like you don't believe you deserve this. Well I'm here to tell you you do!
    Karen

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  12. Dearest Jessica,
    What you are doing isn't selfish at all. Why were we taught that doing things for ourselves is selfish. Are you hurting someone else by doing this? If you are, they don't understand how important this is to you. Sounds to me like you don't believe you deserve this. Well I'm here to tell you you do!
    Karen

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  13. Yes, WHERE in Canada? I am only 45 minutes from Ontario (though about 5 hours from Toronto)--So give a shout if that is the general area you are headed.

    In any case, DON'T feel guilty! Just enjoy it!!!

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  14. Sometimes we've got to do things for ourselves before we can really serve others.

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  15. I ALWAYS feel guilty. The older I get the better I am at reminding myself guilt is useless. Enjoy!!

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  16. Is it wrong that I usually don't feel guilty about that? Ha!

    You deserve it. Go, and enjoy yourself. Yay Canada!

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  17. Hi Jess .. I say enjoy - as you'll benefit so much ... and yes you'll be tired, but so exhilarated.

    Great news meet Dawn .. that will be fun - fantastic .. and definitely don't feel guilty.

    Cheers Hilary

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  18. I wish I could rid you of the guilt! I struggle with this a lot. Or used too, until I told myself doing things for me makes me a better me. Turns out, I was right. Taking that break gets me revived and back into life again. You don't focus on all the negatives, suddenly the world seems a little brighter.

    All in just taking a break for yourself. It's always well deserved.

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  19. You should have fun and not feel guilty about it. Maybe a new book will come from the trip?

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  20. girl...pshaaa. Why are you feeling guilty? Just ditch all that and have a good time. Life is for living

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  21. Oh my. I always feel guilty when I do anything for myself.

    You're right, you do deserve this. we all deserve a little self spoiling now and again!

    Enjoy your trip and meeting your friend!

    Cheers,
    Jen

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  22. Do it and enjoy it! We all need to indulge or we will end up in knots!

    I moved my blog, but there is a feed problem with my old blog and the posts aren’t showing up. You can visit my new blog here.

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  23. Being selfish every once in a while is okay. There's no need to feel guilty about it. Just go and have fun :D

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  24. Just go and enjoy without guilt! Where in the US will you be? We'll have to celebrate your birthday. (I know - I'll have a book release! Oh wait...)
    That said, I always feel guilty doing something for myself. It's easier to spoil my wife with something special.

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  25. I feel guilty all the time, so I figure I might as well do things to deserve it. : P

    Enjoy your trip!

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  26. As far as I can see, the time off (even thugh you'll still be working) is still well deserved. The guilt should pass once you realise that it does benefit you, just in a non "work, work and more work " way

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  27. I know it's easier said than done but try not to feel guilty. You're going to go anyway, and why cloud a wonderful trip with thoughts of guilt? Instead, just think about how much you're going to enjoy it, and how much you'll have to tell the family when you get home :-)

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  28. not likely you'll see a big sign reading: welcome to canuckistan, eh!
    but i'll put up a virtual one for you ;)

    dunno why you'd wanna come here in the middle of winter, but hey... with the yoyo weather this winter, you may not be cold at all :)

    nothing to feel guilt over when you care for yourself, now and then... if you don't, how are you expected to do anything for others when you're totally run down?

    cheers!

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  29. Oh yeah, I understand what you mean about the guilt! There's always something I SHOULD be working on, so taking any time off to do something slightly relaxing always makes me feel a tad guilty.
    But if you haven't done something for yourself in THREE YEARS then, yeah, I'd say it's certainly ABOUT TIME! And so exciting that you get to meet someone "in the flesh" that you're such good friends with!

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  30. of course. And being a mom makes it a zillion times worse, because aren't you supposed to be doing EVERYTHING for your family??? But taking a little personal time refreshes you and in turn makes you better to those around you and in your work. So yay! Let that sh!t go, and enjoy yourself~ :D Say hi to Dawn for me! <3

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