I knew this day would come.
The day I would realize that I cannot truly be myself online anymore. It is a sad day for me, because I really do my best to be totally open an honest about who I am:
I believe I am a good person.
- I am opinionated.
- I am blunt.
- Do I come across as rude sometimes? Maybe I do, but it's not intentional.
- I stand up for what I believe in.
- I try to make a positive difference wherever possible.
- I try to help Indie authors get their name out there.
- I run a reputable literary magazine so that writers can see their work in print. I want writers to succeed.
- I organize a writer's retreat in Greece and bring in reputable instructors from abroad.
- I do everything I possibly can to be active in the writing community, to support others' efforts, and offer advice.
I believe I am a good person.
But I am also human. With human reactions. And feelings that get hurt.
Yesterday, I was verbally abused online. Actually, I've never experienced such a thing in my life. Such heavy anger, such a lashing out, that I believe, was not called for at all.
I said something that someone didn't like. I'm not ashamed of what I said. At all. It wasn't an insult, it was a statement of joy, which as it turns out, wasn't worded properly. Because this person seemed to be offended by it. As a result they totally violated my privacy and publicly announced what I'd said. And to put it nicely, they didn't use very nice words when doing so. :-)
What did I learn?
Everybody reads things differently depending on their own situation. I've also learned, that now that I'm actually getting fans, real fans, not just online friendships, I'm going to need to second think ... every ... single ... thing ... I say.
It makes me sad. Really sad. That it has come to this point.
I no longer feel free here. I feel trapped.
But this is what it is now.
Everything I do and say will be judged.
And I suppose I'm going to have to accept that.
We live and learn, right?
