Wednesday 13 June 2012

Thank you for getting divorced?

My biological father and his wife are coming to visit this Friday, so we're off to Ithaca for a bit of relaxing in the sun. Jealous? Me too. I want to be there now!

But that's not what this post is about.

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if my parents had stayed together and I never had the opportunity to be brought up by my (Greek) step father. I most certainly wouldn't be living in Greece, that's for sure. I wonder whether I would have even visited this country at all. I'm sure I would have been a musician, because my father was one too. But would I have become a writer? I'm not too sure about that one. Because when I first moved to Greece, I had a lot of time on my hands, for various reasons I won't get into now, and I wrote my first novel (I threw it away, but it was good practice). I have always loved to write, but hadn't really thought seriously about being an author until then.

I also wonder what job I would be doing now. Being in Greece gave me my first editing job opportunity in the English Language Teaching industry. Now, I definitely wouldn't have got a job like that in an English-speaking country, would I? You know, I could go on and on about the stuff I never would have done, if I hadn't moved to Greece. And if my parents hadn't got divorced, I can't imagine why I would have even come here.

So do I owe it all to their divorce? Ha! What a thought: "Thank you mum, and dad, for not loving each other enough to stay together. I wouldn't be where I am today without your relationship failure." :o)

How about you? What things in your life might be completely different if it weren't for the actions of others?

*Thank you to Jim Murdoch for posting about FABRIC today!

**Enter this easy-peasy logline contest to win a query critique from Chuck Sambuchino of Writer's Digest, and other great prizes!

***I'm taking a ten-day hiatus while my father is here. So I'll see you all again on June 25th!


  1. It's a funny thought, indeed, but true. I did visit Greece even though none of my parents or parental partners are from there (that I know of. ha). Seriously, it is interesting to wonder how your life would have turned out. But I think it's more fun to be thankful for how it did turn out :)

  2. It is interesting that our lives do turn out the way they do in part to the choices of other people. I've never really given this any thought but I will now :D

    On a different note, I just saw your trailer for Fabric. It's amazing! I love it!! Best of luck with that collection :D

    And enjoy your time off with your father!


  3. I agree with Trisha, it is more fun to be thankful for how [your life] did turn out.

  4. Enjoy your time with your Dad, interesting thoughts on Fate. I am here catching up on all the posts I missed during my computer woes, so good to be back.

  5. Choices are fascinating because your own choices and the choices of important people in your life influence you in thousands of ways. Who knows how different our lives would be if we–or our parents!–hadn't made the choices they did? It's definitely something to think about!

    Have fun in Ithaca with your father!

  6. I am who I am because of my parents and all their flaws. I could never blame them for being who they are either. =)

  7. Enjoy the visit. I too, moved to another country, Canada, from the US. In Canada, I met my second husband. Wouldn't have happened if I hadn't had to pull up stakes. I love the cool cool north.

    Enjoy the Dad visit, and hope you take some pix of Ithaca!

  8. We face so many crossroads in our lives, but that's the beauty of free will. We can choose where our life takes us.
    I'm so glad I chose Greece to come and teach, live and write. I was offered other countries, and yet I am sure if I took up the India opportunity, I would have equally memorable life enhancing experiences.

    Have a great time on Itheca - and how lucky are you to have 4 parents!

  9. My life is full of stuff like that.

    If I hadn't failed some GCSEs I wouldn't have taken my A Levels with the year group below and met my Hubby. If I hadn't joined the gym after putting on weight after #1 son, I wouldn't be a fitness instructor now. Those are the two biggies, but there are so many more. Sometimes it seems like I haven't had much of a say in my life - that's where my belief in Fate comes into it.

  10. Sounds like a great concept for a Sliding Doors type novel, Jess. What would your life be like on a different path?

  11. The road not taken etc. It's amazing how easily our fates are settled by sometimes just the vaguest of meetings. If I hadn't been there....boy, it's a bit scary actually.

  12. Oh the irony!
    I was a military brat and traveled all over. It's rough starting over at a new school every couple years. But what if we'd not moved around? What if I never lived in foreign countries? I wouldn't have the same world view I have now and that would be a shame.

  13. Your leaving? I just got here. Hope you have fun with your dad!

  14. Oh so much would be different for me too. The photo in your post is so beautiful and peaceful. I want to go there too.

  15. I second Laurel, you should so turn this into a novel.

  16. It's interesting the chance events that change our path. I know my step mother-in-law is one of the most admirable, fierce and determined people I could ever hope to have in my life. Yet, had hubby's parents stayed together, I might not have ever gotten to know her!

  17. Yes I'm jealous; I wish I could be there too :) Have a good week.


  18. Isn't that amazing how even the things that don't seem right at the time have such a profound effect on the direction of our life? I'm sure the aspects of my life I didn't like have made me who I am - the good and the bad.

  19. I sometimes wonder "what if...", too, and imagine that I would have had a more dangerous upbringing if my parents hadn't moved out to the countryside and away from the sketchy part of the city I would have grown up in. But there are some things that I know would still happen, no matter what other path I took to get there - like writing. But, I am a believer in fate and that we all have a destiny we're meant for regardless of how we get there. So, perhaps you wouldn't have lived in Greece (or maybe something else would have drawn you there), but you probably would have still pursued writing because it's in our nature.

  20. It's weird to think about things like that. My father died when I was 11 and I'm sure I wouldn't have been such a wild teen if he hadn't. But I also wouldn't have ended up in Arkansas, which is where I met my husband of 21 years now. Somehow, it all worked for the best.

  21. I also wonder "what if" in the cases of circumstances that were out of or in my control. Life can shift in so many ways. I'm glad I'm in the place I am now, though.

  22. Hi Jess - I'm sure your life would have been very different - sounds like it worked out .. all sides happy.

    Just have a wonderful holiday and enjoy the time with your Dad and step-mother .. cheers Hilary

  23. Thankfully my parents stayed together until my dad died when I was nearly 40. I certainly made up for things with my 2 divorces. If my first two wives hadn't left I don't know what life would be like, but since things are okay now I guess everything is as it should be.

    Tossing It Out

  24. "I wouldn't be where I am today without your relationship failure." :o)
    That is a very interesting perspective, I like your positive thinking.
    My best case of circumstances is that I wouldn't be married to my husband had I not gone for a take-out pizza one miserable Monday night! We had been friends in college, not kept up contact (no FB in those days, lol!), and were reunited at that pizza place!
    Now I'm going to look up Ithaca.
    Hope you had a fnatastic break!

  25. Jessica, it's a heartwarming a strange sort of way. ;)

  26. AlliAllo ~
    If you possess ANY “sensitivity” whatsoever, then yer ears wuz burnin’. Click HERE.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

  27. A very "sliding doors"-ish train of thought you were on here. But more than that, you threw it away!!! Jessica! Argh!

    I don't know. I've had two husbands, so I often wonder what would've happened if I'd stayed w/#1. He's a doctor now, and I think they live in Dallas. I know, right?

    The places we end up are right where we're supposed to be, I think. I'd love to be in Greece~ :D <3 (hope you had a lovely visit!)


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