Monday 11 October 2010

How do you feel when you fail to reach a personal goal?

I'm disappointed in myself. I shouldn't be. Because last week was full of wonderful surprises. But I am, and it's weighing me down. I had TWO FULL WEEKS of NO WORK. I had planned to take advantage of it and write a really substantial amount of my WIP considering I had so much time on my hands. I made a goal of 20 thousand per week, which I could have done had I been focused, and which would have pretty much put me into its denouement. Did I write the 40,000 words I had intended? No. I did not. I only wrote 10,000. TEN!
Ugh. That is really bad! Especially considering I do not have kids. Mr Hubbie is also work-free at the moment so it's not as if I had to constantly do housework and cook either! Bad bad bad bad bad!!!
This is the very reason I don't set myself goals. I always HATE myself afterwards!
Now I've started working again. I don't think it'll reach that 60-hour per week hell I had to endure not too long ago, so hopefully I'll get some writing in here and there. But I'm not setting myself ANY GOALS!
The only way to reach my goals, it seems, is if I don't set any. Stupid, weird, I know, perhaps, but hey, what's a writer like me to do?

How do you feel when you fail to reach a personal goal?

35 comments:

  1. Hello Jess. I do want to set goals but like you, I get disappointed with myself when I do. When I set a realistic goal and I know without doubt that I can meet it, then I do it. Otherwise, I just go with the 'flow.' Best wishes with your writing...and 10K is not too bad!!! You're actually very good!! :)

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  2. Goals just mean you end up putting a silly amount of pressure on yourself. Particularly goals like the ones you set yourself!
    TBH, I think that having too much spare time can be a bad thing. I'd put money on you getting as much writing done when you've got a full plate as when you have nothing on at all.
    Don't worry about it :) Just think of the awesome week you had last week!

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  3. I'm exactly the same. I set goals, don't meet them and get depressed. it's hard not to.

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  4. This happens sometimes, and maybe for a reason. Like you were really tired and just needed a break! You will hustle and catch up later when you're ready. (That's what I tell myself when I don't reach a personal goal.)

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  5. I never used to set any goals for myself, but then I just kind of aimlessly float through life.

    I was supposed to have my book finished by my birthday - but (you guessed it) it's nowhere near done. Now I did change projects after 8-9 months, so that gives me a little slack but I'm still bummed. Just going to set a new goal and try again.

    PS Right now I'd LOVE 10,000 words in a week. I've hardly written for the last 3 I've had so much other stuff going on.

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  6. I never used to set any goals for myself, but then I just kind of aimlessly float through life.

    I was supposed to have my book finished by my birthday - but (you guessed it) it's nowhere near done. Now I did change projects after 8-9 months, so that gives me a little slack but I'm still bummed. Just going to set a new goal and try again.

    PS Right now I'd LOVE 10,000 words in a week. I've hardly written for the last 3 I've had so much other stuff going on.

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  7. Don't stress about that goal, life happens and that's okay. I've found that I get far more work done when I don't set goals. I may give myself a time frame, but nothing rigid.

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  8. Don't beat yourself up too hard, unless you're trying to sharpen your dodging skills. That would be taking fight club to a whole new level of wackiness!
    -----
    The gray sunset had put an end to a gray day...

    Jessica and Carmen's faces were lit by the glow from the idle computer's screen.

    MS Word/Tools/statistics~ click.

    [10 000 words.]

    Carmen's eyes flash as she scowls at Jessica, "Didn't I tell you to write 40k words? What's the matter? Was it too tough for precious little you?"
    Carmen slammed her fist on the desk, toppling the stack of cups with their crusted coffee dregs.

    "Look, I had all kinds of other cool things going on... You need to relax." Jessica said soothingly.

    "Oh yeah? Relax on this!"
    Carmen's vicious punch failed entirely to connect: Jessica was far too accustomed to Carmen's ways to be taken by surprise.

    She knew that though she had failed to meet her target word count, her time had been well spent... And there were so many other factors invovled.
    She could only shrug and get back at it tomorrow.

    Meanwhile, Carmen ripped a page out the printer as she stalked out of the room...
    Was that the recipe for homemade soap?

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  9. Yep, I don't set goals for myself too much because I know other things (unexpected things) can pop up that might prevent me from reaching the goal.

    10K is 10K more than you had before, so give yourself a break. I mean, does being disappointed in yourself help you write more words? Does it urge you forward? Or is it a weight around your neck that drags you down and makes it even harder to continue writing? If it's the latter, I say get rid of it.

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  10. Not acheiving a goal makes me feel crap. But I've come to realise something important - I work better under pressure and with limited time. If I have all day to write, I get little done. Give me an hour before work and I'll knock out a few hundred words. Why?

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  11. Hi Jess,

    I know exactly how you feel about setting difficult to obtain goals and not reaching them. It's so demoralizing.

    The lesson I learned from it is to set REALISTIC goals that I know I can obtain. For example:

    1. Write for 15 min a day Mon - Friday

    2. Exercise 10 min a day Mon - Friday

    3. Sleep in on Sunday

    4. Spend 7 minutes cleaning each day


    By setting easy to obtain goals, I remain on task and have a great sense of accomplishment by achieving them.

    And the days that go to complete sh*t and I don't reach any goals? I have a glass of wine and toast in impeding sunrise and opportunity to try again. ;)

    Don't beat yourself up! <3

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  12. I am with you. I don't leave weekly goals for myself but when I do sit down to write, I don't stop until I have 1000 words on paper. I write everyday, so I get in at least 7K a week, but on the nights my muse has slapped me hard, I do the word count by the 1000. So I don't stop until I have an even number.

    I know. Crazy. But it works for me.

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  13. I have to set goals for myself or else I'd get too distracted with other things, but sure, sometimes I don't meet them exactly as I'd planned. When that happens, I try to stay positive about what I DID accomplish.

    You may be a few thousand words short of your goal, but 10,000 words is still big! You're 10,000 words more into your book than you were yesterday! Instead of berating yourself about what you didn't do, congratulate yourself on what you DID do!

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  14. 10K is nothing to sneeze at. I've been struggling to write my latest story and I have a publisher deadline for that one so I really need to get cracking on it. I'm going to have to make myself firmer deadlines and force myself to stick to them. Good luck with your story and meeting your wc goals!

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  15. i just try not to beat myself up about it. There are always going to be some goals i miss. The point is to try. Even a little bit of trial is better than nothing at all.
    So even though you missed your goal, you're still 10k farther along than you were

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  16. hi miss jessica! WHAT??? you didnt get your goal done??!! yikes! ha ha. you just gotta not beat on yourself for not doing it. i hope you had lots of fun when you werent writing so that could make it worth it. maybe you gotta make a more small goal or just dont do any goal for writing. you gotta do what feels good for you.
    ...hugs from lenny

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  17. Um...I feel pretty much like crap. Ironically, though, my post for tomorrow is about setting goals! ha ha ha. :-)

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  18. Hugs. 10k is great!

    I hate not meeting goals I set myself either. I try to do mini goals (like my 1k a day). Goals in general are helpful, but I have to remind myself not to be too focused on the goal I forget the quality of the project. :)

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  19. of course like kickin myself in the pants... but be fair. You do need a break every now and then, and I think it's your body's natural response to free time.

    I tend to write better under pressure myself. Perhaps you're the same?

    work hard-play hard... :D

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  20. Don't be so hard on yourself - you did get 10,000 words - go you! I bet they are 10,000 AWESOME words, too :)

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  21. Can I just tell you how badly I hate blogger. I had the world's cleverest comment and now it's GONE! *cough*

    You are being too hard on yourself. I think you set your goal too high. 3000 words a day every day is too much to sustain.

    Here is what I do with goals: break it into a dozen mini-goals so I can credit myself with anything I DID manage, and be willing to adjust the deadline so you can KEEP GOING if you don't manage it when you meant to...

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  22. I tend to be hard on myself, too. I always set goals and sometimes, I achieve them. More often than not, they fall away, thanks to work commitments, life, etc. It's frustrating, but I have to remind myself that I'm doing my best (if I AM doing my best) and that I can make those goals again and again until I achieve them :)

    Jen

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  23. I don't set firm goals because I don't like to be disappointed, but damn would I love two weeks of work!

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  24. I need to set goals or I get nothing done! But that's just me - I know everyone's different.

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  25. It sucks but I rarely put time limits on my goals...
    It saves a lot of angst - I generally, eventually, get it done ;)

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  26. If I fail to reach a goal I have a hot drink shrug it off and start all over again knowing I WILL succeed one day.

    Yvonne.

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  27. This happens to me all the time! I work from home, and my work schedule is basically feast or famine. So when I have a block of time off, I always think to myself, yes! I'm going to write X words over the next few weeks. And I can honestly say, it's never happened.

    But put me into a deadline frenzy, with tons of work due nearly every day, and for some reason, I find time in that hectic day to squeeze in some writing.

    Because of this, I don't bother setting goals anymore. I'm just looking for a way to somehow trick myself into thinking a down stretch of time at work is really a busy, deadline studded stretch of time!

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  28. I'm like you. I hate setting goals because when I fail to reach them, I feel terrible about myself. Which just demotivates me more.

    I've gotten to the point where I just try to get done what I can, and leave it at that. As long as I'm taking my writing seriously, and I'm making progress, that's what counts.

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  29. Welcome to the story of my life. I epic fail at every goal I set. Every goal. My solution. Fly by the seat of my pants and whiskey. ;)

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  30. First I get really discouraged. Then I look at why I didn't make my goal and try to change the goal. Then I try again. Good luck Jessica.

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  31. I used to treat it like a nightmare. Nothing worse could happen. Then I realized that sometimes my personal goals are unreasonable, focusing more on small goals allowed me more satisfaction, so I stick with it.

    On days I don't do well I have stopped beating myself up!

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  32. Do I need to come over there and take you over my knee? I'll do it!! Just send airfare. :)

    I don't set goals. Honestly, I don't need them. My motivation remains constant and is unchallenged. Now things my be different if I was writing on a deadline. I'd sure like to try that.

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  33. It sucks.
    I usually just move the date and try again.

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  34. For some reason, when I fail to reach a personal goal, I feel as if the whole world knows. I wish it were otherwise, but it has always been and will probably always be that way.

    Glad to have found your blog!

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  35. Oh, I'm so this way, too. When I set myself a goal (other than a daily word count), I always manage to self-sabotage. I have no idea what's up with that.

    Wishing you lots and lots of words and accomplishments that make you smile.

    p.s. So nice to "meet" you! Thanks for your kind comment!

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