Tuesday 26 October 2010

Grief Comparison: Female vs Male


FEMALE GRIEF
 She looks at herself sideways in the mirror, pulling her stomach in and out. Ugh. She pulls her hair into a pony tail, then lets it loose. Fuck it. Let the customers complain. She looks at her jeans, sports bra, and orange mohair sweater hanging over the chair against the wall. She has worn those for four days in a row. She puts them on. She looks at herself in the mirror again. Stares for a few minutes, seeing straight through her reflection toward emptiness, then sits on the edge of her bed and hangs her head in her lap. I suppose I had better put some make-up on. She bursts into tears.

MALE GRIEF 
Sunday morning. Naked. Cold. Heater taking too long to work. Grabs quilt from couch. Wraps himself in it. Prickly on skin. Especially penis. Itchy scrotum, nostril, big toe. Goes to bedroom. Puts on boxers. The red ones covered in giraffes. Drags toe along carpet. Itch relieved. Wraps himself back in quilt. Returns to kitchen. Scratches bum crack through prickly quilt. Not comfortable. Get’s angry at quilt. Throws quilt at couch. Goes back into bedroom. Puts on tracksuit. Goes back to kitchen. Coffee made. Can’t remember turning machine on. Smells nice, triggers grief. Farts. Wimp. Hangs head.

How did I do? Got anything to add?

26 comments:

  1. This is so funny! And yet so sad. I love the 'Farts.' Have a great day!

    CD

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  2. OMG this is hilarious Jess, well done! I love that men are all truncated sentences and bodily functions. I'm kidding, or course. I mean grief is different for everyone, but you did capture that way that it heightens all the little things, makes us so sensitive to things that normally wouldn't matter as much.

    Like farts, and penises.

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  3. Lol. Now I'll be laughing about 'scratches bum crack through prickly quilt' all day.

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  4. I think you've captured pretty well that it's ok for both sexes to be despondent when they're grieving, but only women seem 'allowed' to cry. Guys just get mad at anything and everything. Like $%&@ scratchy quilts.

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  5. I actually read these as two different stages of grief, the first being depression and the second, anger.

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  6. lol...I did a bunch of research on stages of grief recently. This is definitely the most...ahhh
    ...accurate, I suppose.:)

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  7. This is hilarious! I'll giggle the next time I pick up a scratchy quilt :)

    ~Jen

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  8. Very funny, and yet poignant. Nicely done.

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  9. very nice--excellent distinctions. I got it all the way. I liked the staring in the mirror part~ :o)

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  10. Ha! I love the male version - too funny!!! :-)

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  11. Spot on for the female aspect and for the male, it reminded me of my son, brothers and nephews. I had to laugh. The "farts" comment...gosh you know guys don't you.

    Thanks for sharing, loved reading it.

    Ciao,

    Ardee-ann

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  12. Seem pretty appropriate to me ... more or less anyway. Was funny to read.

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  13. Great read! And what a good writing exercise. Although everyone is different, whether male or female, for these two people, I think you did an excellent job in communicating their moods.

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  14. I love that in both of the examples, there's elements of anger with the grief. That's very true to me. Although, I admit, I laughed at the guys one. ;)

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  15. Are these classic hetero responses and behaviors to grief?

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  16. @ Mohamed: Who knows? But they are definitely behaviours I have observed :o)

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  17. Hey! Less body stuff, more throwing!

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  18. HA! That all sounds about right!!! Except my husband would also have picked up a random cheerio from the couch cushion and eaten i.

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  19. Should I admit I get mad at my blanket if it makes me itchy when I scratch? Great comparison.

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  20. That was perfect. Woman overly dramatic. Men simple and to the point. Isn't that always the way?

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  21. I love the contrast between the two and the language you use to highlight those differences!

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  22. AWESOME!!! It's just amazing, the difference in the male/female way of thinking...yet most writers don't change voice properly to write as a male.

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  23. I like how you used the flow of the sentences and words to contrast the two different perspectives. I feel like I got more of a glimpse of what was going on with her, though. I couldn't tell why he was feeling grief; if the two remain paired then it works well. =)

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