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| Issue #04 OUT NOW! |
2. Okay, we say no cover letter is necessary, but when we receive subs with the text ONLY, no bio, no by-line, we're going to assume the author's name is the one in the email address. Whoops ... I guess we used your husband's name in the magazine instead of yours. Sorry about that. Please tell us who you are. It's pretty important.
3. Please read the guidelines. If we say NO ATTACHMENTS in capital letters, it doesn't mean PLEASE SEND US ATTACHMENTS in capital letters. Why no attachments? Simple really. Do you open attachments sent to you from complete strangers? Why do you not open them? VIRUSES. We're just keeping a healthy balanced diet, folks. In general, the guidelines make our reading period run smoothly. They ensure things don't get lost in the sea of submissions and enable the editors (who all live in different countries) to navigate the inbox with ease.
4.
-Hello, could you please replace my author biography on your website with the following?
- Absolutely. No problem.
- Hello, could you please replace my author biography on your website again?"
- Absolutely. (grits teeth) No problem.
Tip: Avoid including dates and book titles in your bio. Make it something more general and include a link to your website for people to access your latest info.
5. "I know you have a word limit of 800 words, but I'd love it if you'd consider my 2500 word short story, entitled BLAH."
Tip: Our word limit is 800 words. :-)6. Please don't send your email to ALL of our email addresses AND via the contact form on our website. *sigh* For reasons I think I can deem obvious.
7. Please don't reply to a personal rejection with insults. We took the time to offer feedback. We don't get paid to spend time reading your work. In fact, any money that goes into the magazine comes from our own pockets, so we SPEND money to read your work. You got a rejection. Life sucks. So? Submit again. Or, if you feel bitter, submit somewhere else.
8. Do not send an email with the title of your work in the subject line if the title is "10509375900340804802847508508220348023494729374028402582057025"
That kinda looks like spam. Sorry. We might delete it by accident.
9. Don't send emails asking us for tips on how to write a vignette. That's why we have the "Vignette writing tips" page on our website. I hate to break it to you, but reading it in your email, instead of on the website, isn't going to make it any easier to comprehend.
10. "Dear Sirs ..."
-Dawn, do our bio head shots look tomboyish to you?
Speaking of literary magazines ...
Vine Leaves Literary Journal Issue #04 is OUT NOW! :-)
Pushcart Prize nominees have been announced.
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Oh, my! Too much and very believable. That's why they are called GUIDELINES! Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who has an academic writing business with the prices on it plainly. You wouldn't believe the emails he receives. lol
You are not alone.
Cheers!
I'm pretty sure I would! lol
DeleteAt least you can laugh about these submission faux pas with us! Wait, you are laughing...right? Hope you have a fab weekend, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yes, I'm laughing. You have a fab weekend too! :)
DeleteIf a lot of people do these things, you must have endless amounts of patience! Maybe some people don't understand what the word guidelines means? Well, at least you can laugh about it!
ReplyDeleteYes. Patience. Sigh.
DeleteThose are hilarious! Sorry you really have to deal with that stuff.
ReplyDeleteAh it's nothing at the end of the day when we produce a great mag!
DeleteLord! And after all that you still have a sense of humor. You're good!
ReplyDeleteLife's a bitch without laughter. Wait. Life's a bitch anyway, innit? ;)
DeleteThis is a terrific post. I'm going to be sharing this one on my FB page because I post a lot of submission places.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Thanks!
DeleteI sooo hate it when submitters at my job (a scholarly journal--for people with PhDs) ask if we would "make an exception" for their brilliant tour de force. Um, no we won't. If it's too long, trim it genius, or send it somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteAnd worse than your #10? The ones who insist on calling you Mr. after you referred to yourself as Mrs. in two prior e-mails. Guess which part of the world those come from? (Hint--where the women are hidden under tents to make sure they disappear.)And yes, I have to admit my marital status to these misogynists in hopes that gives me some cache, because I might sic my husband on them. LOL.
Oh my gosh! LOL
DeleteSome people don't read, or they skim read, or they read what they want to read. The same people don't listen either, sadly. They are sent to try us. (Not that I'm perfect, but I do my best!!)
ReplyDeleteYes, I think there are!
DeleteIt must be interesting to see things from the other side. And we wonder why agents and editors are so strict about guidelines. It's because they have submissions like these that ignore protocol and waste their time.
ReplyDeleteIt is VERY interesting. Since working for the journal, I MAKE CERTAIN, I have followed people's guidelines to the T because I know how frustrating it can be.
DeleteWe love you both, but surely you realize I am now going to send you some joke submissions? Since you've clued me into the ways to best get under your skin?
ReplyDeleteHaha! I'm looking forward to it! You know that I'll know it's, you right?
DeleteLOL! And Matthew's comment is priceless.
ReplyDeleteNo attachments! No one has a clue what that means.
Yeah, you'd think its pretty straight forward.
DeleteThere will always be those with a great sense of entitlement. At least you recognize the symptoms.
ReplyDeleteI'm preparing a submission for a novel now, and the publisher guidelines are very particular. To give my writing the best chance, I'm conforming to the letter. . .
I'm interested in your Vine Leaves journal and will come back to read more.
Yes, you see that's the thing, I don't see why people would just jeopardize their chances of being accepted by something really silly!
DeleteThis is a very terrific post, mainly because people do this all the time.
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Thank you, Gina
DeleteThis must be an interesting learning experience for you guys :) I don't envy you the frustrating moments, but at least you have the great moments and feelings of accomplishment to make up for them! :D
ReplyDeleteThe great moments are worth every bit of frustration, Trisha. Absolutely!
Delete