I relish rhyme. Being able to rhyme and reveal a story makes me revel in self-satisfaction. Here is one of my latest rhyming feats ... Ready set go!
The houses are set with stiff stilted shutters
Stained and lashed with liquid limestone
And tailored by locals to keep summer swelter out—insulation clone
They’re bound by meandering mountainous roads
Framed indulgently with olive groves
And encased in a vacuum of air so crisp that smells like garlic cloves
Occasionally I can hear doorways creak
As though possessed with a palate for prey
Pride is invested in eavesdropping grapevines—so the locals say
The doors are painted colors eccentric even to the color blind
Or to geriatric loaded foreigners who steal domestic oranges for rind
And at times to naive tourists who believe in consecrated dirt and grime
Head-butting each other senselessly
Village goats stroll about the stringent streets
Trying to escape looming mopeds, roosters, travelers—void of peace
But out bliss begins to bloom boldly from deep within
When the disguised cicada’s click is captured in the desiccated wind
Or even by the gracious grocer who greets me with his gorgeous grin
And although I’ll need to wade through heat waves
Rising from the newly laid and crackling tar
Behind this tortured rapture I find a buried brace—spectacular
It’s the ocean’s ghostly turquoise sparkle and its undisturbed serenity
Which sleeps like oil until man disrupts its respite and solemn fertility
I let it mask me like a shroud of sparkling wine, and I swallow it, before it swallows me.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
30 comments:
“I'm using my art to comment on what I see. You don't have to agree with it.” ~John Mellencamp
“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace” ~Judith S. Marin
“I don't ever try to make a serious social comment.” ~Paul McCartney
“I'd make a comment at a meeting and nobody would even acknowledge me. Then some man would say the same thing and they'd all nod.” ~Charlotte Bunch
“Probably what my comment meant was that I don't care about the circumstances if I can tell the truth.” ~Sally Kirkland
“We're not going to pay attention to the silliness and the petty comments. And quite frankly, women have joined me in this effort, and so it's not about appearances. It's about effectiveness.” ~Katherine Harris
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You know, I was never good at the rhyming thing....yours is good!
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll just stick with Roses are red...lol
~JD
Great Rhyming. I prefer a little rhyme most of the time. Okay enough silliness! I really loved your poem. I mean really, really.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, just wonderful.
ReplyDeletei couldn't do it that well! :)
ReplyDeleteI stink at rhyming but I love reading stuff that rhymes. For instance, childrens books like Dr. Seuss.
ReplyDeleteThat. Was. Beautiful! What a knack. :D
ReplyDeleteSimply wonderful, a joy to read.
ReplyDeleteYvonne,
I suck at rhyme, but your's is gorgeous and lilting. :) Wonderful imagery. :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletebeautiful word pictures :) Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThe way you see the simplest things in this world is far more interesting than the way I do!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeletewow you are brilliant. And I love your profile picture. Very beautiful :o)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! You're amazing at this... I however suck at rhyming!!
ReplyDeleteI think poets make brilliant novelists. What artistic use of the language you have here!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! As I said in my P post I'm so sorry for being so scarce this week. I'm really busy with work. I'll make it up to you all next week, I promise! ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun poem! I love Rhyme and Rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
BTW you have the coolest name. I love alliteration too, but now I have to go look up what an allomorph is.
that was beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI, too, prefer a little rhyme in poetry. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI've seen you around the blogworld, but haven't been by before. Glad I finally stopped in!
Michele
SouthernCityMysteries
Love it! You are a talented rhymer!
ReplyDeleteYou are so talented! That was just amazing.
ReplyDeleteLoved it, loved it, loved it! My favorite sounding lines were these:
ReplyDeleteWhen the disguised cicada’s click is captured in the desiccated wind
Or even by the gracious grocer who greets me with his gorgeous grin -- I love the assonance and alliteration in these!
And imagery wise, this line spoke to me: The doors are painted colors eccentric even to the color blind -- LOVE that!
Your talent inspires me!
"I let it mask me like a shroud of sparkling wine, and I swallow it, before it swallows me." -- Lovely!!
ReplyDeleteOooh, good stuff! I suck at rhyming poetry. lol.
ReplyDeleteBTW-blogging about your Internal Conflict Blogfest on my blog tomorrow (Thurs.)!
ReplyDeleteMichele
SouthernCityMysteries
oh! Thanks so much Michele! :)
ReplyDeleteI too loved this poem.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is the last line from the last stanza.
Nice work.
Beautiful rhyming! I've missed your comments of late. Hope I didn't say something to offend! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your lovely comments :)
ReplyDeleteBeth: Sweetie, of course you haven't offended me ... I've been really busy, plus your blog takes a really long time to load for some reason and keeps getting stuck! Becasue I'm strapped for time this week I just don't have the time to wait for it. Next week things will be back to normal and I'll be sure to leave my mark. I have been trying though, but your page just doens't like me!
Rhyme has fallen out of favour in recent years mainly I would suspect because a lot of bad poets have got their hands on it and given it a bad name. The thing about rhyme is that is seems easy but it really isn’t. What most verse writers tend to be bad at is rhythm. Their rhymes are good, strong, masculine but their lines limp from one to the next with extra syllables and the stresses in all the wrong places. For those who revel in the sound of words I think the best things to work on are internal rhymes and alliteration. Rhyme doesn’t mean simply end rhymes.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn’t mean I think there’s no place for end rhymes in modern poetry. I have only one poem in my canon that has a traditional rhyme scheme though. It’s a nursery rhyme on the subject of child abuse; the combination is very powerful.