Are you all 'closet' writers?

You may think this post is going to be about us writers not really thinking that we can be called writers until we're published, but it's not (despite it being very true). This is about hiding in a different closet. The contest closet.

Hello! Guys! Are you in there? I know you're hiding in there somewhere. I know there are more writers out there than I'm seeing who would love to enter my CONTEST. So what's going on, guys? Is it the money that you have to donate? Is five dollars really too much to part with for such a good cause? And what about the prizes? Wouldn't you LOVE to get this kind of publicity for yourself? And 100 dollars worth of books? And a free copy edit of your ms? Really? No one wants them?

Seriously? I'm so sad ... only ELEVEN people have entered my contest. Am I doing something wrong? Guys, please, tell me, what am I doing wrong? I'm not doing this for me. It's not for me AT ALL. I'm giving up so much of my time and money to support THE WRITING SHOW. Please help me out guys.

Pretty please ...

Am I talking out of my arse?

I say 'poetry'.

You say, 'I never understand it.'

I say, 'Look at it like putting together a puzzle.'

You say, 'How?'

I say, 'Think symbolism'.

You say, 'What do you mean?'

I say, 'When you read 'flower'. Don't always expect it to mean 'flower'. Expect it to mean what the flower might represent or symbolize according to the other words surrounding it - according to the emotions the poet is trying to portray.'

You say, 'I don't get it.'

I say, 'You never understand them.'

You say, 'Have you seen Ben?.'

I say, 'Ah, very poetic'.

You look at me blankly.

I smile.

You say, 'So is that really a smile or does it symbolize something else?'

I say, 'Now you're talking out of your arse.'

You say, 'I am not.'

I say, 'Think symbolism. Your arse symbolises the crap you're uttering.'

You say, 'Ah! Now I get it!'

I say, 'Get what exactly?'

You say, 'Well, if I want to write a poem, all I have to do is talk ot of my arse!'

Don’t forget about my CONTEST!

Are you a writer? Then you MUST enter THE WRITING SHOW CONTEST! (Repost)

Would you like to win unbelievable prizes AND support fellow writers like yourself? Then keep reading ... 

This contest isn’t your average contest, folks, and you don't have to write anything to enter. This contest is an attempt to save The Writing Show, an amazing writing resource for us, and if The Writing Show goes bust, I think I’ll just go hide in the corner of my bedroom and cry for a decade. It would be such a shame to lose this amazing resource.

Writers support writers, right? Well the founder and owner of The Writing Show, is not only the provider of this writing resource we simply cannot do without, she is also a fellow writer, so I hope you’ll all find it in your hearts to support her—the amazingly generous and talented Paula B.

The show costs $10,000 – $15,000 to run per year, and so far this year there have only been $500 in donations. So PLEASE, not only for Paula B, but for you and all of us writers out there, struggling to get someone to take notice, please help out.

Read on to find out how …

Now. before I get into specifics such as rules and prizes (and the prizes are to DIE for), read a little about The Writing Show and Paula B, the producer and host of the show, and brilliant writing mentor:

“Since 2005, The Writing Show has provided engaging information and inspiration for writers of all kinds. We deliver high-quality, in-depth interviews, reality shows, and other features designed to shed light on some aspect of writing, publishing, and other topics of interest to people who write or aspire to do so.”

“Paula Berinstein (Paula B) is the author of seven geeky nonfiction books, including Making Space Happen and Business Statistics on the Web, and numerous magazine articles. Paula has been "Publishing Trends" columnist for Searcher magazine, ran her own research business serving the entertainment and other industries for 15 years, and has been a computer programmer, systems analyst, and librarian.

She has a B.A. in English and an M.L.S. in library science with a specialty in information science, both from UCLA.

Paula considers herself first and foremost a journalist. Her heroes are Jim Lehrer and Margaret Warner of the PBS NewsHour, whom she admires for their low-key manners and thoughtful questions.”

Right, let’s get to business …


RULES TO ENTER:


You must be a follower of this blog.

 You must plug this contest at least once, on either your own blog, on Facebook, or on Twitter and post the link in your comment, or email me at jessica.carmen.bell@gmail.com to let me know. If this isn’t done, you will be disqualified.


You must make a donation of $5 or more to The Writing Show at this link. Now before you screw up your nose at having to part with money, take a look below at what $5 could get you.

You must comment on this blog post and let me know how much you're donating so I know how many entries to give you.


IF YOU ENTER …


By simply entering this contest you will get your pick of one of Paula B’s self-mentoring e-books. To see the list, go here. If you don’t have an e-reader we will email you a PDF version. As soon as you donate, Paula will email you to ask which one you'd like.


NUMBER OF ENTRIES:


This is working like a raffle, so pretend that each dollar you donate is one ticket, and therefore one entry. So your initial $5 will get you five entries.


But …


If you donate $50 or more, you automatically get 100 entries.


If you donate $100 or more, you automatically get 200 entries.


If you donate $150 or more, you automatically get 200 entries plus a bonus and IMMEDIATE prize of a first chapter critique and follow-up email discussion by Paula B. I repeat BONUS. This is on top of the prizes below. You will receive this without even winning, simply by donating this amount of money.


Of course, if you wish to donate more than $150 dollars, it will revert back to the one entry per dollar system. So if you donate $151, you will get 201 entries plus the critique.


NOW FOR THE PRIZES …


IF AN ASPIRING AUTHOR WINS:


1. Paula B will interview you for a podcast and it will be published on The Writing Show and remain in its archives for as long as The Writing Show is up and running. (This can be by phone if you can’t make it into the studio.)


2. The Writing Show will plug your blog or website on its home page.


3. The Writing Show will publish a short piece of your writing on the website, and it will remain in its archives as the winner of this contest, with a short biography and any links or other information you wish to include accompanying it for as long as the show exists. I will copy edit it before it is uploaded. If you don’t know me, I am a professional English Language Teaching editor and writer, so you can trust me.


4. A $100 dollar Amazon gift card, donated by MOI.


5. I am also donating my time to this cause. I will proofread and copyedit your full manuscript whenever it’s ready. If you were to hire me to do this it would cost you at least $1500 for a 100,000 word manuscript. So I’m offering a big chunk of my time for free here!


If it’s ready now, excellent, if it’s ready in a month, no problem, if it’s ready in December, again, no problem. The cut off time for this will be mid December. I will not accept any manuscripts after December 15. If you’d like to see my CV, let me know and I’ll send it to you. You have to give me at least two months to complete it, though, as I sometimes have to work 60 hours per week!


IF A PUBLISHED OR SELF-PUBLISHED AUTHOR WINS:


1. Paula B will interview you for a podcast and it will be published on The Writing Show and remain in its archives for as long as The Writing Show is up and running. (This can be by phone if you can’t make it into the studio.)


2. The Writing Show will plug your blog or website on its home page.


3. The Writing Show will publish a biography about you on the website (with a small excerpt of your writing if you wish), along with a direct link to purchase your latest release on their home page..


4. A $100 dollar Amazon gift card, donated by MOI.


5. I am also donating my time to this cause. I will purchase and read your latest release. I will review and plug it on my blog, again with a direct link in my side bar for others to purchase it. Once this is done, it will also be linked to your biography on The Writing Show. If you’re self-published, and would prefer the proofread and copyedit I’m offering aspiring authors (see point 5 above), then let me know so I can do that for you instead.

The RUNNER-UP PRIZE is:
A $15 Barnes and Noble gift card.
An illustration, drawn by the wonderfully talented Elizabeth! All you have to do is provide her with a summary of your WIP and she'll illustrate a mock cover of it for you! How awesome is that?

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to email me: jessica.carmen.bell@gmail.com. If you have a question for Paula B, run it by me first and I’ll have her email you back directly if need be.

So, folks, whaddayawaidingfor? Follow, Plug, Donate, Win!
Cut off date for entering is Monday, Septmeber 13.

GOOD LUCK!

My testimonial for Paula's mentoring:

Paula B's feedback has not only been more than helpful, but it has increased my need to make my work better than better. Her tactics are not the usual. She does not 'tell' you what she thinks you should do. She does not 'tell' you how to make your story shine. She pokes and prods and asks you questions until you come up with ideas on your own. She pushes you in the right direction, twists your mind to think in ways it isn't used to. She certainly knows which buttons to press. And she knows these buttons because she takes enormous care and time to know your writing better than the back of her own hand before uttering a single word about it.

At the end of the day, not only have you come out with an outstanding critique and the encouragement and extraordinary motivation to keep pushing yourself to achieve the best, you come out with new and insightful knowledge; knowledge that one generally can't come by unless one enrolls in a creative writing course. Paula is definitely high on my recommendations list. In fact, now that I come to think of it, I don't think there has been a single person who I have been more pleased with or trusted with my beloved prose.

Calling for poetry experts!

test

Goats, Roosters and Scooters

The windy mountainous roads on the island where my father’s family roots lie are framed with olive groves and air so crisp you can snap it up like celery. The houses are stained with whitewash and embedded with old-style stiff wooden shutters, tailored by the inbred locals to keep the summer swelter out. They are all painted blue, red or green, but occasionally you may come across the odd pink or orange shutters, which are more often than not, inhabited by the eccentric barmy type who are colour blind, or the young and loaded foreigner who believes that they should revolutionize the island.

Goats meander about the streets, head butting each other senselessly, as they try to escape oncoming cars and scooters. The roosters, the chickens and the geese fire up the locals at the first sign of sunrise. In the morning you can hear birds chirping, cicadas jijiging in the olive trees and dogs barking as the bread truck (a little old red beat up Ute) delivers hot bread to each residency.

At midday, the sun gets so hot that you have to wade through the heat rising off the road before you manage to wade through the Mediteranean waves to cool off. The ocean sparkles a deep turquoise and is as flat and as still as oil. It’s very hard to resist going for a swim at least twice a day during the summer as the heat engraves your skin. If you are on holiday you might as well just spend sunrise to sunset lying on a small empty white pebbled beach – one that is situated in a tiny cove at the end of a private dirt walking track – one that not a single postcard illustrates and not a single local will tell you about.

Do you wish you were here? If so, then you'll have to come to Greece ;o)

Don’t forget about my CONTEST!

PS: Holly, (my dog) was missing in the shots yesterday because I had just washed her and she was on the balcony drying off :o)

My office - before and after

Right. I promised before and after pics. So here they are! I'm so tired and behind on my work after organising my space, but ... I don't give a damn! Whahahahhahaha! (attempt at wicthes laugh there).

Before:

After:

Ahhh ... Now, I'm to shower off all that sweat because I actually had to assemble everything!

Don’t forget about my CONTEST!

Work schedule = 60 hrs per week (So I bought myself a present)

I'm working like a dog. I am also running out of space on my cluttered desk as I need to use two computers to be able to see and type into multiple documents at once, and I also need to lay out in front of me two sets of A3 layout proofs. I'm cramped. And getting snarky. And yelling at someone who invisibly lurks in my office. Don't ask me who they are. But they volunteered to be my oral punching bag. So. Anyway. I thought I deserved a little prize for being such a hardworking non-complaining sport (except on my blog and to my invisible friend).  I bought myself some stuff to make my working experience that little bit more comfortable.
Check it out!

Cool new soft chair, a desk extension and a set of drawers. They arrive tomorrow, so I'll take a before and after pic of my office for you to see the transformation!

Don't forget about my CONTEST!