Friday 11 June 2010


Once upon a time there was a girl named Jess
(Me - and no, not once upon a time, I'm still alive and kicking, well typing as this moment may have it, typing really hard, SHIT, I'd better slow down or I'll break my keyboard ...)

Who involuntarily lived in dog-pooey mess

(You know, I would really appreciate once in a while for my 'better half' to pick up his FRESHLY WASHED clothes up off the floor, or wipe up his crumbs after making a sandwich. Or, you know what? Don't let the dog shit accumilate in the corner of the balcony for a whole week, ESPECIALLY IN THIS HEAT, and expect me to clean it up. You said we'd alternate poo-pick-up days. That does not mean, that on my poo-pick-up day off it should stay there!
And is it really necessary to have to ask me how to make a salad? I mean, making a salad shouldn't be that difficult, really. He pulls all the ingredients out of the fridge, then looks at me, holding the lettuce in his hand, and says:
"Now what?"
I say, "Um ... oh, I don't know. I think we have to boil it first. What do you think?")

Frustrated by the stench
She put the dog poo on the kitchen bench
And ... ugh, she's kidding herself; he couldn't care less.

Right ladies and gentlemen, now that I've got that off my chest, what have your 'better halves' done lately to frustrate you? Take this opportunity to rant about their most unimportant annoying attributes, guilt free. I'm here, and listening, and not judging, and not going to tell you to focus on the reason why you love them, the reason why you married this person, or had kids with them. We all know that you wouldn't be with them if the positive didn't outweight the negative, but we all know, don't we, that sometimes, just sometimes, we need to nag, rant, hassle, we need to say what pisses us off no matter how small and insignificant it is compared to the bigger picture. Today my comments section shall be devoted to complaints. :o) So, knock yourselves out bloggers and bloggerettes!

Ready, Set ... Rant!


  1. I can only rant and rave at my own faults as I live alone.....not to be

    Have a good day

  2. All the women in my life seem to believe that men have ESP and can magically know what they are thinking. They enjoy getting upset about things they have never once mentioned to me.

  3. Well since it's six in the morning and I haven't seen him for over 12 hours, I'm feeling pretty relaxed and content.

    He's a good guy. He cooks, cleans, does laundry. All without being asked. In fact, he probably has to ask ME to help more than the other way around.

    That said, the one thing he consistently does that drives me bonkers (wait, there are two...this could get long)

    ONE: He never ever cleans up after dinner. If I don't put the food away, it stays there. Ditto for crumbs on counter. And yes, he WOULD eat it the next morning.

    TWO: He will not stand behind a "no" to the kids. He'll say no, they'll badger, he explodes, then feels bad for getting mad and gives in to them.


  4. Outside of him never unrolling the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirts before tossing them in the hamper, I really can't think of anything. And if that's the worst thing he does, then I'm a pretty lucky woman!

  5. LOL timely post:

    On a mad dash back to the UK,
    I was pleased I'd tidied that day.
    On my return,
    My temper did burn,
    Not one thing had been cleared away!

    DH had taken the opportunity to paint his trainset. He washed his dishes, but had not done anything else. His excuse? You were only gone for 4 days...grrr

    Thanks for the rant space, Jessica.

  6. Firstly, major (((hugs)))

    Now, I could tell you plenty, but I have a story of old I think you'll appreciate.

    Newly married *Aww...bliss...angels in Heaven clapping...harps...yeah, whatev. For the first year I loved 'taking care' of hubby. Why not? I had a husband. Hah. Well, once child #1 came along I realized I was this humanoids mommy not the big guy's. So one day--effing sick of picking up his underwear from his side of the bed--I threw away every stinking pair of underwear he owned. Yup. And he was pissed.

    I felt better. *devilish grin*

  7. Your salad-making scene was LOL priceless, and I refuse to say LOL unless a cat or child gets startled! Thanks for being the first to follow my wife's Blog; the first who isn't sleeping with her ;P

  8. Most of her annoying stuff is actually kinda cute.

    And had to laugh at Will's comment!

  9. Hmmm, he hasn't annoyed me lately. Mostly I'm just annoyed at my writing, does that count? I can't seem to finish a manuscript and now that I have a good idea I can't seem to start it! Grrrr.

  10. You've seen the stupid plastic cup that won't get out of my sight. Plus he leaves the cabinets open after getting something. Grr.

  11. This is really silly, but I get frustrated when my husband tidies the place (and often leave the stuff in piles that sit untouched). It's like he's making a statement about me being too busy writing to bother. Oh face it, five minutes later NOT ME will be dropping the kids toys and books on the floor. I should be grateful someone is picking up the toys (though at least the kids know where the toys etc are supposed to go . . . unlike my husband).

  12. Good thing I'm here and not my man because I think he'd have the same complaint as you - about me. He's the neat freak in this family.

    My only complaint would be his farting in the middle of the night. I can't tell you how many times I've been awaken, clutching my heart, swearing I just heard a gunshot go off. One day, he's going to give me a heart attack for sure.

  13. Oh dont get me started girl!
    Seriously, dont get me started, or I´ll write a book here lol!

    But seriously now, Im on that phase where he´s perfect and all, newly wed crap. Give me a few months and I´ll get back at ya. Probably with a fresh MS.

  14. I just wish my honey would put his dirty dishes in the dish washer. :)

  15. Our recent fiasco has to do with buying a new car. Dear hubby could NOT make a decision. He spent three weeks visiting and there was always a reason why the car just wasn't 'it'. I finally put my foot down and made him get a car that completely fit all our criteria. A part of me thinks he liked the hunt too much to actually buy a frickin car. Then today he comes home with the new car and says 'the doors are going to stop working soon' (wtf?) He wanted to go BACK to the dealership and get his money back. I'm serioulsy ready to shoot him.

  16. Outside of NUMEROUS housekeeping issues, it's that he asks too many questions. Like when I'm too irritated to talk, he'll ask me one pointless question after another, just to get a response.

  17. I have no complaints about my "better half" because I have no "better half". I came to the conclusion that I am ...


    All my friends are married
    Every Tom and Dick and Harry
    You must be strong if you're to go it alone
    Here's to the bachelors and the Bowery bums
    Those who feel that they're the ones
    That are better off without a wife

    Cause I like to sleep until the crack of noon
    Midnight howlin' at the moon
    Goin' out when I want to,
    And I'm comin' home when I please
    Don't have to ask permission
    If I wanna go out fishin'
    Never have to ask for the keys
    Yeah, you see I'm kinda selfish about my privacy
    Now as long as I can be with me
    We get along so well I can't even believe it
    Hey, I got this girl I know, man,
    She's been married several times and
    I don't wanna end up like her.
    I mean, she's been married so many times
    She's got rice marks all over her face.
    Yeah, you know the kind...

    ~ "Lonesome Dogg" McD-Fens

  18. Ok, I am going to limit my complaints to just a few dealing with the washing. It seems unbuttoning shirts or rolling down the sleeves is too time consuming and therefore deemed unnecessary by him. Socks are always rolled up in a ball and a GPS is apparantly needed to find the hamper!

  19. I think husbands are genetically constructed to be blind to clean laundry that either needs folding, or to be put away.

    Great limerick!

  20. Hehehe! This is great- I whine about my wonderful husband all the time.

    Happy weekend!

  21. lol hilarious.

    My kissyface told me I sounded like Kermit the Frog the other day because I got frustrated and did this weird yell-thing.
    Then I wasn't mad anymore lol.
    But Kermit???

  22. He tells everybody that I cry during romantic comedies after I've just declared that I hate them.

  23. I swear I'm the only one who knows where the laundry basket and the sink are. THE ONLY ONE. Apparently they're hidden with some super-secret cloth that renders them invisible to all other inhabitants of my house.


  24. It's the BLOODY cracking of toes that gets me every time! No matter how many times I patiently explain that I really don't like it... CRACK!

  25. I'm single at the moment, but my dad does lots of stuff that winds me up. The main thing is that he always leaves his shoes where I fall over them. Right in the middle of the floor!

  26. Too funny! Everybody in this family loves the dog until he poops or throws up. Then suddenly it's MY responsibility to clean up after the little cur. I swear I don't want any more animals!

  27. I would have an emergency and yell for my husband (ex now) and he would Never come. He always heard me though. He said the reason he never came was because he didn't know what I wanted. What?? Did I sound in trouble? Yes. Did he care what was wrong? No. This is one reason he is my ex now. :-)

  28. My lovely, wonderful man doesn't do anything wrong.
    He's perfect, just like me. *grin*

    Sorry about your day! Poo-poo sounds nasty. :-(

  29. He's great with everything except laundry. He puts his dirty clothes IN FRONT of the hamper instead inside.

    All in all, it's not so bad. :)

  30. My husband actually does all the laundry and most of the shopping. But...he's been out of a steady job for two years now. That is not the norm for him, as he'd always worked full-time before, and I wouldn't mind being the only breadwinner if he did more of the home stuff. He has NEVER cleaned the bathroom and the vacuum is some strange contraption that he can't seem to figure out. So, when I come home from work, and the house is a wreck as he sits on the computer and watches tv, he shouldn't be surprised when I don't feel much like snuggling with him. I mean, am I wrong to feel that way?


“I'm using my art to comment on what I see. You don't have to agree with it.” ~John Mellencamp

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace” ~Judith S. Marin

“I don't ever try to make a serious social comment.” ~Paul McCartney

“I'd make a comment at a meeting and nobody would even acknowledge me. Then some man would say the same thing and they'd all nod.” ~Charlotte Bunch

“Probably what my comment meant was that I don't care about the circumstances if I can tell the truth.” ~Sally Kirkland

“We're not going to pay attention to the silliness and the petty comments. And quite frankly, women have joined me in this effort, and so it's not about appearances. It's about effectiveness.” ~Katherine Harris