Friday 26 March 2010

Angst of Anticipation

An agent has requested my full manuscript, and now I'm so stressed about sending it - it's an agent that I sent a query to more than four months ago and had given up on - an Australian agent that would positively be the most perfect agent for me, because then I'd have excuses to visit home more often!

I've drafted and drafted and redrafted the diavolos out of this thing. Can you believe it's coming on four years? Yes, it was my first attempt at a novel and I have had so much to learn, and I've learnt mountains - I mean MOUNTAINS of meaningful skills during this time, and I wouldn't trade that four years of tough love for anything. But now, after four years of hacking this novel to pieces, I really REALLY just want it to be perfect. Is there ever such a thing?

And another thing ... why was I so confident about it before it was requested? Why do I now think, "Oh, why would they want it? They represent the screenwriter of my most favourite film! How can I live up to that?" How do I get over this? I know it, now I'm going to be way over-excited and have all these over-emphasized expectations build up inside, and then I'm going to get disappointed and cry for days. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I put myself through this torture? I'm so excited, yet utterly terrified at the same time.

How do/did you feel when your full manuscript is/was requested?


  1. Good luck, congratulations and enjoy the ride!!

    Deep out...yes, that's forget it just scream!! LOL

    I enjoyed my visit.

  2. Hi! LOVED your blog name and wanted to drop in, say hi, and perhaps become bloggites!

    Sigh. It was back in 2007, I believe. I felt numb, then just praised God and moved on to the next task, the next.

    May God bless you every step of this way. And drop by MY place when you have time!!

  3. Like Glynis said, breath in...breath out. It's going to be ok. We all have doubts, if we didn't we wouldn't be human. Your human right? Just enjoy the ride. And remember your writing got you a full request, so you must be doing something right.

  4. Ack! HUGE Congrats!!!! I'll send up a prayer or two!

  5. Awesome!!! How exciting!!

    Whenever I have anything out--even a query--I'm nervy. It's just part of the process for me!


  6. Terrified and excited - and like I wanted to throw up. Helpful, huh?! :-)

    Good luck - they'll love it.

  7. Wow! Congrats! If I ever get a full request, I'll let ya know how I feel, in the meantime, best of luck!

  8. Thanks for all your kind words guys! I think I'm going to be checking my email now every two minutes, even though I know it'll probably be at least a month till I hear back. I just can't help it. It's a compulsion! :D

  9. I haven't had a full requested yet, but I think what you're feeling is just a form of self preservation. If you doubt your manuscript now, before you send it out, you won't be hit as hard if it ultimately gets rejected. It's all your mind trying to psyche you out.

    Send it out and let your friends and fellow writers believe in it for you, while you develop a stomach ulcer waiting to hear back on it. ;o)

  10. I'll tell you why you do this to yourself. Because you're a WRITER! We ALL do this to ourselves!

    That is so awesome your ms was requested!! Just send that baby in, and then start working on something new so you don't sit around obsessing over it. No matter what happens, that is a wonderful first step.

  11. Thanks Tracy and Holly! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one making a big deal out of it. But I can't help it. My insides will bubble and burn the lining of my stomach if I don't let myself act nuts for a while :) haha!


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